Never be afraid to try something new

I always feel uncomfortable posting after there have been announcements, but I think this is for a good cause. I want to share something interesting for once. Maybe. On the 19th I had quite a bit on my mind so this post is a bit late. Since 2012 the matriarchs in my family have been passing on every eight months. There were four, and now there is only one.

I’ve learned within the last year that it isn’t uncommon for women in my family to see dead loved ones. It usually happens before someone dies. My grandmother saw her father tell her it was time for her husband to leave. My great aunt saw my grandmother after she passed away. She had dementia so no one told her she had already passed, but a week later (this April) she passed away. A couple weeks ago I had a really unexpected visitor in my sleep. My grandmother who died last year. Well we found out my great aunt’s daughter passed away the afternoon after I saw my grandmother. I didn’t have a chance to hear much of what she had to tell me because I was abruptly awoken by whiskers on my face and claws gently kneading at my throat. My cat had jumped onto my chest. The only thing she told me before the interrupting ball of grey fuzz was to trust my gut.

I didn’t know what that meant, but on the 19th the one year anniversary of her death was looming. A while back I told myself that I would never do necromancy because I have a history of anxiety problems, low self-esteem, and depression with suicidal thoughts. Necromancy sounded like the last thing I needed to be doing because it could go horribly wrong. Following my beautiful grandmother’s advice I decided to trust my instincts and try to contact her despite the risks. I made sure to have a protection amulet, protection oil, and I told someone I trust that I was going to do necromancy; if I seemed strange afterward I wanted her to intervene. She also recommended that I keep a memento that means a lot to me around. I chose the matching fossil to a set of two I purchased in February. They are goniatite fossils. They’re used for protection, grounding, and stability. I figured it would be perfect considering the meaning and considering my purpose for using it. The other goniatite has found its way to my boyfriend. I gave it to him in May because he was undergoing a major surgery and we both have a love of rocks. Here’s something of a side note: every year I am drawn to certain rocks and I never look up their meaning until I get home. They usually have some sort of significance to me afterward.

One year I was drawn to a cat skull. It turned out to be a bobcat skull and it has since found an awkward home among my collection of rocks. So I had a skull, a goniatite fossil, an offering, and a watch my mother told me that my grandmother had meant to give me. She had obviously worn it a lot and I was thankful to have something of hers that I could use for my ritual. I cleansed my ritual space, did my ritual, and cleansed the space again. I visited her grave and cleaned the headstone (along with all of my other ancestors in the area) later that day. Someone had surprisingly left a giant bouquet of flowers before I arrived! I am glad that I listened to her advice. She had a lot more to say than I had initially anticipated. She teased me as she did when she was alive, she told me I needed to hug my mother that day (her only child), and she told me she was proud of me and my brother. I graduated college in May and my brother went back to school. There were some other messages, too, but I think for now those are best kept to myself.

Now I realize I was just trying to scare myself away from broadening my magical practices. My grandmother had no idea what my practice entailed in life and I was kind of worried she wouldn’t approve in death, but she was very receptive and kind. I am so thankful for that opportunity to communicate with her. I am glad I listened to her nudge to get me to follow my gut. And most of all I am thankful that I managed to push past a long held fear. I’m glad I did. My path is about to take an unexpected turn that wouldn’t have happened without the Demons and the love of the woman who helped raise me. I know July isn’t classically a month for discussions of necromancy, but I’m too excited to wait.

I highly recommend trying forms of magic you’ve scoffed at or been afraid to attempt. Now is the perfect time since S. Connolly is doing a bunch of web seminars on various topics. I attended one of her events and at the time I really wasn’t a believer in spirits at all. Then she saw a German Shepherd and none of the attendants seemed to have one – except for me. My father had a gorgeous German Shepherd that had to be put down when I was 17. That opened me up to the idea. Now I am being haunted by my grandmother’s ghost. The hot water turns on in the kitchen if you leave something in the sink (she had a zero tolerance for anything messy) and her television turns on by itself. I’m still skeptical, but now I have to admit there are possibilities.