How I missed the month of April, I am not too sure. But it seemed to come and go at the blink of an eye. Which was not enough time, apparently, to write my due blog for the 23rd. I do apologize for the oversight. In light of that I guess I could say one of the things I wish I knew from the beginning would be the need for a daytimer or maybe just SIRI would work. But on a Demonolatry note there are many things I wish I had known when I had started out. And even a few things I am glad I didn’t know at that time. I mostly wish I had known how to learn, and how to listen better. I wish I had taken down more notes. I also really wish I had learned Kabbalah. Every time I have tried to get that as an integral part of my consciousness I get a headache. I know it for short periods but then the “AHA!” moment seems to elude me after that. I wish I had spent a few months doing nothing but that. I know it’s not too late, and that is on my plate. Along with a few other things. I also wish I had learned faster that Demonolatry is not about going through the motions and actually being able to learn anything from that. It was all very new to me so I spent an inordinate amount of time doing simple math over and over before I even thought about thinking beyond that. I also wish I had understood the subtleties of worshipping Demons as opposed to being a bull in a china shop. Which is mostly what my early years looked like. Also wish I had understood the symbiosis between majick and spirituality. Actually I still wish I understood that. I am glad, however, that I didn’t know how intricate all of this is. I fear it would have overwhelmed me. So sometimes all things in good time is the best cliche in this instance. There is still so much I don’t know, and I have come to the inevitable conclusion that there is simply more to know than I have time on this earth. There are things I wish I knew at the beginning. But this is how it has unfolded for me. And I do believe this is how it should be. Doesn’t stop me from wishing I knew these things at the beginning though. But at least I can accept that this is how it is. Mostly accept anyway.
So in this blog I would normally just have commented on how I’ve been using Abyss Hyms music (check out the shop, up in the bar ;D ), I have used sea shells from store bundles to add the water element into rituals, I have bathed with salts dipped in mint oil before rituals calling Leviathan (Fresh and cool feeling like nothing else) with a prayer from a page is no down for good and the owner never answered my new messages to see if she still had those prayers so, I’m guessing, I’m going to design something myself (no bitterness here only to avoid people asking me for page gone and prayer lost lol), I use Incenses, but I’m not really good standing smoke, I use very little since I work in small rooms and get very saturated and instead of getting in the mood sometimes I got suffocated, overall I try to build up a lot of energy around the ritual and in myself to add, I used to have lights on at first because honestly I’m bad memorizing everything so I tend to check the books and notes on the, but yeah nothing says RITUAL so loud like candle lights only, also I have various color cloths I use for different rituals, mainly elemental colors, I’m seriously considering buying tons of purple cloths lately, I also use a lot of oils anointed myself and in candles from root working conjuring, etc, I have no robe I usually just wear colors relevant to the kind of working Im doing.
I live in an apartment and soon I will be moving with friends (They are allowing me to have a whole room for my ritual work YAY!).
But this where it end on what is like I im used to work to, and this is where is starts on what is really mean to me.
Today I moved my altar into the new house I will be living in, but I returned to my apartment and saw the spot where it usually is, It was only about a year and a half I’ve been here, but in this space with that altar, I’ve made offerings to the spirits, I’ve prayed, sent out to stop those who attempt to terrify or control my friends, set out for conquest of new possibilities, made objects of power, called upon heavens, earth, hell, made readings, for that short time things have been going on, it just was not an object in a space, it was a SACRED object in a SACRED space, and even thought I know where it is, and I know I can and will keep on practicing in the new location, it’s a special time, of a special place that will not be again, and now I’m brutally nostalgic, I can barely hold my tears, I feel naked, the energies around the place have changed so much for the first time I really feel not at home, I remember a recent conversation on “The feeling of the presence of Daemons, being gone by people desecrating sacred space”, Its like a hotel room with boxes with my belongings, the only things that keep that feeling are some of the consecrated books I have, and tools, even in faint hint coming from inside the boxes. And it’s strange and sad, but if it took just a year and a half to make this experience so special, then what I can do at the new house might be, Just magical.
I know this month’s topic is supposed to be about ritual atmosphere, but I have something else weighing heavy on my mind and I thought today I’d do a little soul baring and tell you about something that happened to me this week.
Now mind you my intention in sharing this story is not to “climb upon the cross”, but rather to share an interesting milestone in my own spiritual path.
So several months ago I went to my OTH temple priest and asked him if we could strike the “Lector” off of my “title” in the group because the truth is I’ve never wanted to be a teacher. I’m kind of bitchy and I have no patience whatsoever. If I do teach, it’s through my books. The temple priest told me no. No explanation, no discussion, just no. I was kind of pissed off about it at first because I had done my share of teaching to meet the requirements of the degree and position I was working toward, and through all of it I learned that I just don’t like teaching.
Then last month I completed my LoKIR and placed myself in service of Tahuti, Seshat, and Delepitorae (pardon my non-standard spelling) and took on the role of Sesh in our temple. It seemed after this happened that suddenly I began having more Daemonolatry traffic than usual in my mailbox and in my reading and working requests.
Over this past weekend, after a particularly hectic week filled with many Daemonolatry to-do’s I complained to a fellow OTH member how overwhelmed I felt. That’s when she gently reminded me that this was, in fact, the job I signed up for. I was now in service to the Daemons of magick and knowledge and part of that job is to use my talents to help others. She also pointed out that no matter how much I fought it, I would always be teacher whether I wanted to be one or not, just as I would always be sought after to help others due to certain talents.
You know how sometimes when you knew something all along but you were either in denial or you didn’t think much of it and then that 2×4 of reality comes back and smacks you upside the head, really driving the point home? That’s exactly what happened to me. For the first time in 28 years I finally feel like I really “get” what it means to be in service to the Daemonic and other Daemonolaters – not just myself.
Sometimes, as a priest, that sacrificial offering that you make on behalf of others is yourself.
And when this realization hit me I thought, I’ll be damned. So it is.
It’s an interesting contemplation and I thought I would share it.
Sure, several other revelations followed, but this was, by far, the most profound one and I have to admit, it’s much more interesting blogging fodder, for me anyway, than ritual atmosphere.
The atmosphere of a ritual can vary greatly from one ritual to another, but it is always of great importance. Atmosphere is a fluid thing; It can be changed in order to fit whatever working or goal is being attempted. It has a strong effect on the psyche and a person’s confidence, which can strongly influence the effectiveness of a working. There are several ways in which atmosphere can be manipulated.
In ceremonial magic, among other forms, there is often a lot of importance put on specific tools, symbols, methods, and actions. Everything must be done in a precise manner, at a precise time during the ritual, using precisely the right materials. What most magicians don’t understand though, is that the adherence to these principles is more about the atmosphere they create within their own minds, than it is about fulfilling some magical recipe that will guarantee success. It is through them knowing that they have done everything correctly, exactly the way it should be done, that the needed confidence and surety of purpose is instilled. They know they have done everything right, so they know the working should be a success. Confidence and strength of will is what breeds magical success, not staunch adherence and conformity.
In other types of ritual, the correct atmosphere can often times be achieved through much less effort. Music is usually one of the most effective, and most commonly used, due to it’s versatility and inherent ability to influence and affect mood. You can almost always find a piece of music to put you into a particular mood, regardless of what it is. But even common ritual tools are sometimes nothing more than items designed to alter the atmosphere and mood of a working. The symbols and icons one uses, the candles and the incense one burns, are often really just props that induce the correct kind of atmosphere for that particular working. Because regardless of path or “color”, magic comes from within. Everything else, is just fluff.
Sorry for the delay in any posts this month. I got off to a bad start and offline life kept me offline. It seems if I forget my first of the month post, which I did this month, no one else posts.
This months posts are supposed to be about ritual atmosphere. Creating it, relishing in it, and how it effects us psychologically.
There’s really nothing else new this month, please correct me if I’m wrong, so enjoy the posts (if our bloggers would be so kind as to post something even if they missed their scheduled day) and we’re always looking for dedicated bloggers so if you’re interested, drop me a line at firstname.lastname@example.org.