How many times in your life have you had a bad feeling about something, but brushed it off only to later discover that bad feeling was justified? Or better yet, how many times have you listened to your gut and stayed away from someone or cancelled plans only to find out you’d done the right thing? In 2017 I worked with a man who gave off a bad vibe. There was something about his eyes, his cadence, and everything in the way he carried himself that set off alarm bells. I kept my distance. At the time, the office I worked in only had six people in it, with other workers popping in and out as needed to pick up forms or to turn in paperwork. Some days, I was the only person there. I remember a few days where this man turned up to turn things in, and I was completely alone with him. My alarm bells would be going off, and I’d do my best to get him out of there as quickly as possible. I expressed to my co-workers how uncomfortable the man made me feel, and several of them agreed that there was definitely something off about him.
Just after we moved into our new office where I felt much safer because I was never alone, the man stopped showing up for work. When I asked about it, I was informed that he’d been arrested. Apparently, he kidnapped the woman he’d been dating and forced her into some BDSM sex slave fantasy. She somehow broke free, the police were called, and he was taken into custody.
I can recall numerous experiences like this over the years. That bad gut feeling, that warning to only deal with someone as necessary, and that inner voice that says, “Stop. Be cautious.” Only to later discover that someone had nefarious intentions or wasn’t on the level in some way. I imagine most people have experienced this many times throughout their lives.
But what about spiritual intuition of the non-dangerous variety where your intuition urges you to light a candle, or speak to the spirits? Do you listen to that, too? Or do you second guess yourself out of fear or lack of confidence? Does your inner critic or your fear make you stop? Are you constantly worried that you’ll do it wrong or upset a spirit or deity? Let’s face it, when we’re starting out in a practice – any practice – we tend move cautiously and worry that if it’s not in a book, then there’s no way these intuitive urges could be right.
A lot of this could come down to early religious programming and the fear of being smote by deity or spirit if you don’t follow the written “rules.” In instances like this, it is important to take a step back and examine this fear. After all, spiritual fears either have their root in indoctrination, or in self-fulfilled prophecy. With a self-fulfilled prophecy, we basically bring about what we believe by subconsciously making choices that encourage the very thing we fear to happen. It’s self-created.
However, I can tell you, as a lifelong magician and Daemonolater, that if you don’t use the right incantation, candle color, or offering that nothing bad is going to happen. I learned the “rules” when I was just starting out. I followed them religiously until one day, I got that familiar gut feeling I get when my intuition, inner-voice, higher self, or inner Daemons (whatever you prefer to call it) is having a moment. Ever so cautiously I took the bait and started to modify things. And guess what? Nothing bad happened. As a matter of fact, my magick became more affective and my connection with myself and the Daemonic deepened.
Sometimes intuition isn’t a warning. Sometimes you’ll find that listening to your intuition and experimenting with your spiritual practice means stepping outside your comfort zone, and other times it will feel natural – like it was meant to be all along. That doesn’t mean what is written in books is wrong. That simply means that what is written in books is one person’s truth meant to inspire you to find your own. This is, coincidentally, why I say that books about magick are merely collections of ideas and inspiration for your own work. So, don’t be afraid to experiment and listen to your gut. If a book tells you the best offering is a stick of gum, and you choose a piece of fruit instead because it “felt” more right to you, then do that. Only when you begin to realize that the world isn’t going to end and you haven’t consigned your soul to someone else’s fantasy of eternal damnation will you begin to trust your intuition more.